By Faith Foushee
Digital Media Editor
The Campus Activities Team partnered with the Office of Student Life to host David Coleman, better known as “The Dating Doctor,” on Nov. 13. Coleman has a long list of awards, and he is currently the only speaker to have won National Entertainer of the Year.
Students and faculty gathered to listen to Coleman’s presentation on topics surrounding relationships. He began by explaining that by the end of his program, the audience should have a better sense of confidence and useful skills they can use in the dating scene.
Coleman recommended that the audience look in the mirror the following day and say, “I would so date me.”
He discussed six different signs that someone may be romantically interested in another person.
“The signs of interest are when the person maintains eye contact, avoids using weak player tactics like pick up lines, turns to moosh brain and does not know how to respond, uses the three-eyed contact method or inquires about your future plans,” said Coleman.
“If you are at a social event and make eye contact with someone you are interested in, you are to look away for a moment; then, look back to see if they are still looking at you, and hold eye contact until they look away,” said Coleman. “Now, move to a different place in the room so that when the person looks again and does not see you, they will look around to find you if they are truly interested.”
Coleman suggested that the number one question people should ask their significant other is whether they are their priority or merely an option.
“Asking this question is essential for furthering the relationship,” explained Coleman, because, “No one wants to walk around bragging how they are priority number five.”
Red flags are concerning things or habits that may appear in developing relationships that should be deterrents. There are five red flags that Coleman advised to look out for, including wanting to get too physical too quickly, any forms of abuse, living an unhealthy lifestyle, having an unhealthy relationship history or using check-ins to keep track of someone. When a red flag presents itself, it is important to evaluate true feelings and which steps should be taken next.
Another topic Coleman discussed was cheating. He explained that there are four reasons why people cheat. One reason involves getting away with it the first time and getting smarter about it to do it again. Another reason is that cheating can become intoxicating to some people.
Cheating also gives some people the confidence they need to date other people because, according to Coleman, if they can date one type of person, they can date other people too.
Coleman explained the signs of a cheater, but he emphasized that while the signs may be true, they can also be pure coincidence. These signs include getting into better shape, changing hair or scent, changing the style of communication, answering questions with questions, getting protective with a phone or computer, diminishing physical desire for a significant other and checking on a significant other’s whereabouts often.
Another big topic in relationships is breakups. Coleman introduced the acronym D.A.T.E. to get people through a bad breakup. “D” stands for distance, meaning it is important to maintain a proper distance from the other person. “A” means to stay active in positive activities, like getting involved or exercising. “T” is to understand that it takes time to get over the other person. Lastly, “E” is for exiting on one’s own terms to get closure instead of confusion.
Developing healthy relationships is important for all people to understand, especially college students. “The five characteristics of a healthy relationship are trust, respect, intimacy, passion and commitment,” said Coleman.
Many students in attendance found Coleman’s presentation entertaining, amusing and informational. Students were allowed to ask questions throughout the presentation, and Coleman also offered to spend time after the presentation answering questions for those who wanted to speak individually.
Hannah Martin, an HPU student in attendance, found Coleman’s statistic on long distance relationships interesting.
“I learned that 50 percent of long distance relationships fail in the first year, and I think that statistic is crazy,” Martin said. “It makes me not want to be in a long distance relationship.”
Those who are interested in learning more about David Coleman can visit his website at www.DatingDoctor.com.